I’m seriously liking living “on my own”. For the first time ever, I feel slightly independent. I rely on the public transit system to get to school each day, and it’s my responsibility to clean up after myself, cook, and get on the bus on time. I’m even doing my own laundry, with a little instruction from my landlord; but her washer/drier is completely different from mine at home!

I am going to hand my resume in to a local group home which is quite literally down the road from where I’m living. The money is apparently good, and even if it’s not the best it’s still a familiar place and it’s still money coming in. I can start saving!

Yep, I think living on my own agrees with me! I have a feeling college is going to be stressful, but I know that I’m going to thoroughly enjoy it. This weekend I’m staying here so I can hang out with a couple new friends that I have made and go to a PowWow the local native’s are having for everyone to get a glimpse of their culture. It should be a really rewarding, interesting experience.

Recently I switched from Community Development to Community Development with an Emphasis on Aboriginals. I had my first class yesterday and it was full of promise for the upcoming year. I like the sound of things we will be doing.

On a completely different note, my friend Mandy (who also has MHE) will get to meet JK Rowling in NYC this year. I’m so envious! If only I had entered the contest with her! Except I think it was only for people in the United States. Oh well. Have fun for me Mandy!

I am deeply sorry that I’ve failed to update my blog lately. It’s far from abandoned! I have just been super busy! The last week of August I was away at a residential camp with the recreational group for the developmentally handicapped that I worked at. The week was long and although it was fun, it drained my energy fast. It didn’t help that it rained almost every other day. The weather was damp. My bones ached the entire time. Luckily I was in a cabin with electricity and I was able to steal the electric heat blanket from the nurses cabin during cabin time.

It was my third time being at that particular camp with the members of the recreational group. Only this time, I had far more responsibility. I was the summer student and the cabin leader of my cabin. Not only did I have to run events and activities each day and ensure that everyone was having fun and doing their parts, but I also hosted most of the cabin troubles on my shoulders. On Monday, three of our volunteers left so it was just myself and one volunteer in a cabin with four members. We made out well enough; our members had fun and got the care they needed, but it was still stressful.

Although there were a lot of funny camp moments, when home time came I was relieved. It was such a long, stressful week for me and I couldn’t wait to drop my title of authority and relax. Of course it couldn’t be easy, the 7 hour bus ride was even more long what with all the things that just had to go wrong. For instance, bus #3 broke down 20 minutes after we left camp. We had to squish all of the people onto the other two buses, and it was a tight fit.

After I got home, I barely had time to relax. The next day I had to go into work one more time before leaving for school to do my evaluation on how I did this summer. It went pretty well, I think I have a job next summer – if I want it. I’m not too sure though, the truth is that this summer was really hard on me – physically and emotionally. I let the stress of the office problems get to me, and that didn’t help the physical stress my body was under. Camping 3 weekends in a row was hell on my bones; I don’t think I’ve recovered yet.

The very next day (the 1st) I went to the annual summer birthday party celebration (this year at my grandparents house). I visited with my family from out of town for a while, then decided to steal one more weekend at my boyfriend’s trailer, since I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to when school started. On the 2nd I moved the rest of my stuff into the apartment, and then on the 3rd at 9pm I officially moved in to the basement apartment that I’ve rented out for the school year.

The 4th was my “first” day of college, but not really considering it was just an orientation where they held a couple seminars like Essential Services, meeting your Student Adviser, and learning how to use the student email portal. Things weren’t really exciting until the 2nd day of actual classes, when I started to make friends.

I take the bus to the college everyday, and I walk around the school carrying a pretty heavy bag. My shoulders ache and my back aches, so does my legs from walking around so much. I don’t want to push around a trolley, considering there are so many stairs and it wouldn’t really help out at all. Those book bags with wheels only cause more problems when you aren’t wheeling them around because they weigh more. Needless to say, I’m not too sure what I can do. Lugging home 5 textbooks and my binders doesn’t help either, and it’s not like I can have 2 sets of textbooks like I did in high school, college text books cost a lot of money.

If anybody has any suggestions for me, feel free to say them. It’s only week 2 of college and I’m exhausted already; we’ve barely started our work load! The current work load is good, all I really have to do is read chapters of the text books so I actually know what’s going on in the lectures.

I also have switched to Aboriginal Emphasis, so my schedule is going to change around ever so slightly. I’m pretty excited about it actually, Aboriginal culture has always interested me. Next weekend a local reserve is having this huge Pow Wow and inviting anyone interested in going to it, the theme is Healing Through Laughter. I’m going with a couple of people from my program.

And that is what’s new in the life of me. I’m still trying to settle into college life and draw a line between school work and play time (because everyone knows you need play time in college or you’ll snap). I so far love my program and the people I’ve met are all cool and interesting in their own ways. My physical pain isn’t holding me back too much at the moment (knock on wood) but we’ll see as time goes on. I should probably start intervening anyway and making changes to the things I’m doing wrong (such as carrying around such a heavy bag load and walking around too much) but thus far I’ve been unable to solve my own problems (since I need everything I’m carrying around and I can’t have them move classes just for my convince).

But I’m liking it, and that’s the important thing!

I apologize for not updating this blog in almost a month, I promise I will start posting more things after summer. I’ve been quite busy with work, and a number of things have happened since my last post.

• Clearly, I made it through the rest of the camping weekends. The last weekend was by far my favourite; it went swell and I had a lot of fun. I was able to relate more to my co-workers and let loose a little and relax (for the most part, it’s in my nature to stress myself out).
• On August 17th in the evening I will be moving most of my possessions to the apartment. On September 3rd I will be moving myself into the apartment, along with a weeks worth of food.
• The Family Night for our members and their families went swell! The turn out was wonderful and we even left with some extra money! A couple of people wanted to see two of the board members dunked in the dunk tank, and they paid $100! I chatted with a bunch of families and generally had a good time, although I was exhausted by the end of the night and had quite the headache thanks to the loud music and all the conversation!
• I was going to model. My sister, Kate, found a modeling agency called C&A Talent Agency and had her photo shoot a couple weeks ago. One of the agents convinced me I should model too; she said that my medical disability would not affect my turn over of jobs. I was to have my first photo shoot on August 20th, after my doctors appointment. However, I recently changed my mind. Modeling is not and has never been my thing. I can’t see myself doing it, especially now. I’m low on money and I will be moving away so I will undoubtedly miss auditions due to distance.
• I’ve decided on my camp costume. This years theme is Superheros, and I’m going to be The Green Countenance; my made up heroine who fights evil. I haven’t decided on her superpower yet, I’ll figure that out when I have the time. Elektra and for one day, Sailor Mars. The other female summer students are also being Sailor Moon people, so it should be mildly entertaining.
• Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer has been ordered for me by my lovely cousin, Karen! I recommend her other two books, Twilight and New Moon, to anybody who enjoys reading! Stephenie Meyer is by far one of my favourite authors.
• I read and finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling within two days of receiving it. It was amazing! I loved it! Now I’m depressed though, as it was the end of the Harry Potter series! Now what will I wait for eagerly each year? The crappy movies? Ok the movies aren’t that bad but I like the books way more!
• As I briefly mentioned above, August 20th I have an appointment with my new doctor. I’m nervous about meeting him, but it has to be done. Especially before school starts!
• I met with a college counselor and was able to set up a couple of much needed things to make my days go smoother; I will have a note-taker so I don’t need to take my own notes (writing for long periods of time hurts me) and I will have extended time on my exams if need be. Since it’s college, they don’t care if you leave early, so long as you do so discreetly.

There are only three more weeks of summer! The last week of August I will be away for the week long camp, and then on the 1st of September I have to go to Kings Cross Station to catch the Hogwarts Express my grandparent’s house for a family party, then I will move on the 3rd. It’s going to be a very busy and hectic time for me! Luckily I have the essentials set up; I have most of the kitchen supplies I need, all my bedroom things (except for the mattress topper which I’ll be picking up sometime this week) and my phone line is set up to be activated on September 3rd. The major things have been dealt with, so I’m not too anxious about it. I do have to get my bus pass though before the 4th – when I start my classes.

So my high school graduation ceremony was last night. I have to say it went beautifully. It was really nerve racking coming outside to see several bleachers full of friends, family and teachers. I almost died. I was fully able to picture myself falling flat on my face. Luckily, I didn’t.

I was deeply embarrassed halfway through the award part of the ceremony because I realized I wasn’t going to get an award. The few that I thought I would get ended up going to other people. So I stopped listening to the awards, and then guess what? I was called up to accept the Heather Rebeka Lodge Award that is awarded to a graduate student who worked hard and will be attending college in the fall despite obstacles. The obstacles they were talking about was the two surgeries I had last year that put me behind my classmates. Had I not taken co-op, I would be short two credits and I would not have graduated. Thanks to co-op, I was able to earn 2 extra credits and graduate with my classmates. I was award $200 which I put in the bank today.

Unfortunately thanks to co-oping all day, I missed out on having a social life. Most of my classmates enjoyed their last year of high school by attending several parties, going to school functions and just enjoying the high school life. I missed out on that. I was busy working. I missed out on one of the classmates finding a mouse in their pants, I missed out on several awesome get-togethers. I didn’t go prom camping, and I didn’t go to any of the Blue Jays games the popular kids put together because I wasn’t sure if I would feel weird or not.

The class valedictorian made me think about all the stuff I missed out on by giving her beautiful speech. I now feel guilty for assuming I would have a horrible year way back in September, because I could have made it better. Instead of making time for my old friends, I accepted the fact that they had changed. Ya, maybe a couple of them changed for the worst but I still could have joined in on the antics every once in a while. I could have made the new people to my old circle of friends feel included, I should have made my own friendships with them instead of assuming I had been replaced in that circle of friends. I should have skipped more classes, laughed more, attended more parties, gone to more school dances, and enjoyed it while I still could.

I sat through the Graduating Class Slideshow a bunch of people put together and almost started to cry. I missed out on knowing a lot of people. I was only in the slideshow twice myself, and I could have been in there more. Had I given myself the chance to fit in. I suppose you could say that I decided I was above silly high school antics, and in believing so I missed out on what could have been a really fun time of my life.

But that chapter of my life is over now, I have accepted my diploma from high school and in the fall I will be attending college. I’ve got everything set up; the cheques in the mail to secure my spot in the Social Service Worker Program and my first and last months rent has been paid for my apartment. I’ll be attending a Welcome Day in late July, and I’ll bring in all the stuff I need to get set up with Disability Services.

The tuition payment was supposed to be due today, but yesterday my dad and I drove up the college to explain our situation. The money had not come in yet; we were still waiting for the government to release it. They understood, and have given me until Friday of next week. Luckily, the money came in yesterday evening and the college will definietly have it by next Friday. My mom is planning on running it up Tuesday (since Monday is a holiday).

So everyone, I am no longer a high school student.

I don’t know what it is about the summer, but I never seem to need to eat a lot during the day when its hot. I like eating smaller things throughout the day. Instead of bigger, heavier meals I feel like salads and fruit.

I have decided I am going to eat better and exercise some, because I am apparently very lazy. I suppose I could get myself in shape, but that will be hard since I seem to lack energy 99.9% of the time. I’m thinking maybe if I was in better shape I would have more energy? Or if I ate better? Who knows. I just want to have more energy and I want to try anything that could possibly work.

Maybe I’ll go for a walk after I write this post. I have to mail a letter to Mandy anyway, and I’m sick of being online. I’ve been online since I got home at like 4pm. Something is wrong with that picture, I know. I’ve been busy exploring my college website, busy trying to figure out how to use my student emailing account. On July 23rd I am going to the Welcome Day, and I’ll find out more about Disability Services. The letter finally came in the mail from my old doctor from Sick Kids regarding the documention on my disorder we asked for months ago. So I will finally get that business out of the way.

Wednesday I start working with a developmentally disabled boy. We are going to the mall and catching a movie. This summer I’m going to work with him and get him familiar with taking public buses, also I’m going to take him on a tour of the college he wants to go to. My sister works in the Student Services office and could probably help me out with that one.

And this Thursday is my high school graduation ceremony. A few hours of listening to other people accept awards and I can boogy on out of high school forever! I am thinking about attending the after party for a couple of hours with my boyfriend, just to say goodbye to the people I have gone to school with for the past 6 years.

I have this entire week off, and the Canada day weekend as well. There are some things I have to do, like buy a new bathing suit even though I’m broke. I can’t go to Wilderness Weekends without a bathing suit, especially if we are going to spend an entire day at the beach swimming. I suppose I don’t really need one, I could go into the water in shorts and a t-shirt, but I would rather have a bathing suit.

I also think I’m going to start walking more. Walking down the drive way, down the street, around the block. Its a lot of walking, I live out in the middle of no where.

I’m gonna start walking now, and maybe I can talk my parents into buying fresh fruit.

Today I booked an appointment with the Student Advisers of my college to be for a tour, seeing as I was late for the open house they had and didn’t really get a chance to explore the school. During this tour I realized just how big and wide-spread the college really is, although the Student Adviser assured me that my classes would be in the same general area.

I wasn’t on this tour alone though, so I couldn’t really voice many of my questions about disability services. I suppose I’ll have to contact the disabilities office and book a seperate appointment. I’m also beginning to think I should meet with my new doctor at the new hospital long before I start school, that way I won’t miss any classes. Catching up in college would be a lot more difficult then catching up in high school. I find it slightly depressing that I don’t get to have an OT in college, I’m used to mine speaking for me and making sure that I have what I need in order to excell in school. I’m going to have to speak for myself here, and its slightly scary. I’m looking forward to being more independant, but it’s nerve racking at the same time because I’m afraid of leaving out something important or not being able to voice my concerns or needs loud enough to be heard.

Despite having to speak for myself and make sure I have what I need, I’m looking forward to college. It’s a new and exciting experience. I’ll be on my own for the first time (and who knows, maybe even the last). Plus theres always the exciting High Speed Wireless Internet to look forward to!

I have decided to move from blogger to WordPress, as I’ve heard some pretty good things about WordPress. Although in a way it kind of stinks because I won’t be able to have my own custom made blog design, but so far I’m happy with WordPress.

I have my job interview tonight, and I’m really nervous. Danielle (one of my co-workers) mentioned that the only thing counting against me is the fact that I don’t have my drivers license. I don’t see why that would matter, especially if they are hiring 4 people. They could make sure that the other people they hire have their licenses. Janice (another co-worker) told me not to worry about it because I couldn’t get my license based on the fact that I had 2 surgeries and just wasn’t ready for it.

But we’ll see how it goes.

I was thinking to myself that this blog could use some sort of spark, something new and interesting for all the readers out there. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier, but I’ve decided to ask a few of my friends with MHE if they would like to occasionally write for this blog. I thought it would be interesting to have more then one persons views, experiences, and feelings of MHE.

So far Nicole has been the only one to say she’ll give it a try, so I’d like to formally thank Nicole ahead of time for sharing her stories and opinions here. Although she informs me that she has no idea how to work this blogger thing and probably won’t update on a regular basis, her stories can still be a treat for not only the readers but for me as well.

I’m still awaiting reply from the other two girls.

Since my post on “Expensive Thoughts“, I’ve been thinking a lot about my game plan for the future and what career I’m going to pursue after high school. Ever since I stated volunteering at Sunrise Youth Group, I’ve wanted to work with the developmentally challenged. There is just something about them, you won’t know what I’m talking about until you actually see for yourself so there’s no point in trying to explain it.

The ideas I’ve been looking into are; Educational Assistant, Human Services Counsellor (which I couldn’t find a description for), and a Child or Youth Worker. Those job descriptions have captured my interest for quite some time now, but lately I’ve been wondering about benefits. I need to choose a career that will be flexiable, and offer benefits. If it doesn’t offer benefits, would I be screwed over if I had to take time off for a surgery?

Of course when I went to the Guidence Counsellor, she told me that I really wouldn’t be able to base it on the jobs in themselves, but I’d have to consider where I would be working. Will I have a contract? Be a part of a union? Things like that.

I honestly don’t know why I’m so worried about all that financial crap, but I don’t want to waste all my dads money on schooling for a job that I can’t afford to take time off for surgeries. Surgeries aren’t always something I can put on the back burner for a time more convenient, sometimes it’s a now or never sort of deal.