I know that I’ve mentioned before my hatred of awkward questions regarding anything “odd” about my body. I’m very weird about things like that, in my really messed up mind, I believe that it’s a little rude. I mean, I don’t ask people about things on their body because I’m cautious like that – I wouldn’t want to make people feel the way I feel when asked an awkward question like that.
Last night while I was at my boyfriends house, I was asked yet another awkward question by his nine year old sister about the bubble scar on the back of my right ear. She wanted to know why it was there, and it was really awkward because I don’t know how to respond to questions like that. I know that kids ask questions, so I try not to take it to heart, but I’m always worried about people noticing the “weird” things about me. Luckily my boyfriend told her to go away and stop asking questions like that, so I didn’t have to reply. I know, I’m being really stupid about questions. People are just curious, but their curiousity makes me anxious.
I got the bubble scar from when my ears used to be pierced and a kid pulled the earing out. I’m rather weird about it, as I think it’s a little gross and I used to love having my ears pierced – I really miss the whacky earings I used to wear to draw attention away from my “sticky-out ears”.
A while ago, I went to see a plastic surgeon about removing it – but that didn’t go well. The guy was a really big jerk, and basically wouldn’t touch my ear. He said he didn’t want to “make it worse” and that I was “very shallow” for wanting it gone. That really upset me, for starters he shouldn’t be judging a girl on things that make her feel different, like my scars – which he also said I was shallow for wanting to remove them as they “are reminders” or something along those lines.
I don’t need reminders, as I have memories, and I didn’t even want to remove all of my scars, just the really big, annoying itchy ones that make me hate summer time and bathing suits. But the point of that visit was my ear. It’s a tiny bubble, barely noticable unless you stare at it, but I really want to get my ears pierced again. That bubble scar is preventing me because it’s in the way. I wanted it removed so I could repierce them. The plastic surgeon acted very rude towards my mother and I. He acted like we were really stupid and wasting his time. All this was really shocking to us because it was at Sick Kids, and usually the doctors are really polite and friendly. He’s the only doctor I’ve ever met that was really rude to me at Sick Kids. Even years later, it still really irks me. I can’t explain why really.
Don’t think I’m crazy, okay? I just believe that if you go to a plastic surgeon about something like that, he shouldn’t judge you and make you feel really stupid and selfish for wanting it gone. I still feel really stupid and selfish for wanting it gone, because a man who changes peoples noses and lips because they don’t like them told me I was being shallow. Fine, I’m shallow. I want the bubble scar on my ear and the huge ugly puffy red scars on my arm and legs gone.
